It’s funny that I should be thinking about goodbyes when I should be thinking about hellos-- Hello, Spain. My bag is packed and I’m ready to shake your sexy hand-- Yet, all of the excitement that I feel and all of the wonderful people I’m hoping to meet can’t keep me from thinking about my friends and family in Costa Rica, Mexico, Bemidji, Northfield, Chicago, and San Francisco. In fact, it just makes me think I’ll eventually have one more sad, sad goodbye to go through.
What sucks about goodbyes is that there are too many of them. Obviously, I’m not talking about the everyday goodbyes/catch-ya-laters; I’m talking about the goodbyes that are supposed to mean something, like, “Goodbye Tessa, have fun in Tanzania. See ya in 4 months.” :( These goodbyes can be incredibly painful and probably should be. Intuitively, the first goodbyes are the hardest. Which means the more goodbyes that you experience, the faster you learn to let go. That's sad... It's sad that at least in the sense of your daily activities, you forget about the people you loved to be with even a few months ago. They aren’t around anymore and so you don't even think to call them to hang out.
As much as I've been traveling recently, I'm still no good at goodbyes- I’m too sentimental. It's evidence enough seeing that I'm writing a Homage to Goodbyes... but further proof, I left Mexico telling my friends not to forget me. I was afraid that I would be just another foreign exchange student who came into their life and left like the dozens before me. Yet, I know it’s not about forgetting, really, and I shouldn't worry about that. I know that realistically people can’t stay in contact with even the people they really enjoyed spending time with; It’s just too hard. So I can't expect that of my friends just like I don’t expect that of myself.
I'll probably get better at saying goodbyes and stop being so sappy and overly-dramatic. I'm not giving an excuse to not stay in contact, just an understanding of why the disconnection might occur. Just keep in mind, my friend, whether I remember your birthday or not (Facebook "Happy Birthday!s" don't count... :S), I haven’t forgotten about you and I dedicate this Homage to Goodbyes to you.
Paz y Amor
